I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
