I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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