This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
