This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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