ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
