god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
