We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
