Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
