You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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