I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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