Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize