9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
