He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
