Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize