I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
