dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
