North Korea, Best Korea!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
