You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize