She said her name was "party"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
