now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
