If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
