you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
