So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
