The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
