I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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