Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
