You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
