put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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