so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
