i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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