ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i dont even know how to be here
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
