he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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