I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
