plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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