I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
