if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
