She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
