SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
