wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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