similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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