Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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