forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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