you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
