And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You ruined the universe
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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