oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize