he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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