I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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