I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
