I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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