I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
