HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize