it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
