It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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