I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
