Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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