fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
