You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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