I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
